Burger King in

25/09/2024: I recently had the pleasure of dining at McDonald’s, where I skillfully navigated the digital terminal and accidentally selected “takeaway” like a rebellious taxpayer. Naturally, I couldn’t undo it. As I waited for my food, I enjoyed watching my order number flash on the screen, only to stand there for an extra five minutes, bonding with my ice cream as it slowly turned into a milkshake. The real kicker? My meal came with Monopoly stickers for a chance to win big! I excitedly opened the app, only to find the website was down. So, I walked out with soggy fries, melted ice cream, and no shot at owning Boardwalk—just another day in fast-food purgatory!

17/09/2024: It was a sunny day in rural Ireland, and the peckishness had set in … lo and behold, yonder! The Golden Arches beckon! And so, under a fiery midsummer sun, a most fishy filet came to pass these lips, and there was much happiness.