The best restaurants in Bray

01/07/2026: AVOID. AVOID. AVOID. Look elsewhere. If I could give NO STARs I would.. ..deeply unsettling stay in Room 107. It is not a guest room!; it is an elite, endurance test designed to shatter your spirit and forge mental toughness. The Cryogenic Solitude: The management has thoughtfully curated a biting, sub-zero indoor climate. To ensure guests fully immerse themselves in the deep-freeze experience, they completely decommissioned our radiator and displayed it in the hallway like a modern art installation. The dampness is so absolute you don't just breathe the air—you wear it. Elite Concierge Service: The hotel staff have masterfully achieved a state of total, meditative silence by completely ignoring our requests. The room was never cleaned throughout our stay, bed-sheets dirty, no clean cups, no hoovering, no dusting, etc. ensuring our environment remained completely untouched by the burdens of modern civilization. The DIY Engineering Challenge: The shower drain was missing its primary filter mechanism, threatening an immediate, indoor flash flood. Luckily, we were able to save the entire wing from destruction by engineering a custom water-routing system using a teaspoon. It really brings a rustic, survivalist, Tom Hanks in Cast Away energy to your morning routine. The Detention Special: Navigating the older wing is a mental puzzle. The architecture is a genuine labyrinth, paying a homage to the site's 1920s history as a fortified wartime detention facility. It has held onto that exact violent, oppressive energy. The Advanced Entertainment Package: The in-room TV proudly offered a state-of-the-art "interactive grey screen" experience. It absolutely refused to show any channels, it could only be turned ''ON'' and ''OFF''. If you decided to look out the window instead: The windows of the hotel room overlooked onto a graveyard.. The Culinary and Leisure Amenities: The restaurant serves food so completely devoid of flavour.. Afterward, you can unwind in the swimming pool, which features a distinct, unmistakable toilet aroma and a floating biohazard that I can only describe as an uninvited, highly organic swimming companion. In conclusion, this stay wasn't a vacation—it was a total, multi-level nightmare masquerading as a hotel booking. The Royal Bray has achieved a spectacular masterclass in negative hospitality. Got no sleep throughout the stay. I can never, in good conscience, recommend that a single living soul ever cross this threshold. Avoid this entire property at all costs, unless you have actively budgeted to pay actual money for a historical, dark and atmospheric hostage situation.

29/05/2026: Wouldn't say that it's the worst chipper, but will say my husband tossed the dog a chip - the dog then puked, pulled the chip out of the vomit, then set the chip to the side before eating the rest of his vomit. The story alone is worth the 5*s

14/05/2026: I'm going to be honest, San Marino Bray was never really that great, and it's on a continuous decline. The last few times I've ordered from here, the chips have NOT been fresh. Everything else is mediocre at best. I can recommend San Marino Bray as a last resort, as there are better takeaways around.